epic

i love my past existence. it still haunts me, it still brings me down, it still creates vulnerability. it’s weird how at this point, i am  the prisoner of my present demons, empty cigarettes, the fault that comes once i see the circle of friends  shrinking with every new season ( till that point when i take the  phone book and start looking for clues, for someone who will not judge, misunderstand, eventually,  acuse me that i’ve missed essential things in life by only one millimeter). the regrets i have, the obstructions, the  friends i’ve lost because of others,  details worth mentioning at the edge of an year,era,  time, are wrapped and are awaiting in line for storage.  i’ve just opened up a  something  wrapped in silver packaging and somewhere close to my eyelids  i could see another me  following these escquisite years, light years where people possesed world wide knowledge and the sense of responsibility.  then backflashing – the early years, my six o’clock mornings, the simple breakfast consisting of bread, butter, honey and milk, the kindergarden and the soft  light, my cold hands holding my mother’s hand, less rougher than nowadays, the deception of losing my father, the motivations and the life i wanted to build. but an improvized schedule leads to an improvized scenario. and this is no longer a target.  no longer…

strong appearences spinning like carrousells,  all the superfluu surroundings,  meanings behind books, music, the rush of mankind, the urban paranoia, ways of expressing ideas, feelings or contrasts, lead to some kind of modern  way of showing individualization. i remember that someone used to say these  following words in certain contexts. this is  also my warmest greeting . an affidavit to you, readers.

(in every thing you want to succeed in)try… just like everybody else.  but when you try, do it loud and unique.  be epic! happy new year!


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